t h e . w r o n g . s t o r y

Today I am 31 years, 3 months, and 8 days old. That’s hardly anything to commemorate or take note of, generally. However, in its own special way, for me it is.

That is the exact age my mother was when she gave birth to me, her third child. She was 31 years, 3 months, and 8 days old. She had an eleven-year-old son, a six-year-old daughter, and was on a hospital bed squeezing out what was obviously destined to become her favorite child. Me.

She would, within about a year, go through her third divorce leaving her once again as the sole provider and caregiver to three children who needed her. And, I’m not going to romanticize it and say she did it perfectly and that all three of her children turned out perfectly. That’s simple impossible for any parent or parents to ever do. But what I can say is that never once in my life have I not felt taken care of, provided for, and perhaps most importantly of all, loved.

I can’t even fathom having the maturity and responsibility to be raising three children at this point in my life. Alone, or with a partner. Hell, I can BARELY take care of myself and a cat. I am a couple days late for Thanksgiving, but I want to take this special day in my life’s calendar to say to anyone who will listen that I am so thankful I had such a strong role model and influence in my life teaching me every single day by her example how to be a decent human being.

I am who I am today because of her. Whether anything she ever does will ever mean anything to anyone else in the entire world or if nobody else ever even knows her name, she will never ever not mean the entire world to me.

My friend Jeff has long had an animated gif collection that has left me quite jealous and amused. I jokingly asked him to make one of me stalking the Golden Girls. Apparently not one to shy away from a challenge, he managed to do it.

I’m obsessed.

If I had to narrate it, I think it would go something like this….

“Hey you! And you! And you! And you! I ate all your cheesecake!”

Anyone else wanna take a stab at making some of these from my videos? I’d love you forever!