n i c k y n a x . c o m

This is week ninety-six in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you had to choose the worst telephone call you’ve ever had, what call was it?

The call that kept me from taking an incredible job back in 2001. Who knows where I would be right now had I taken that job.

If you had to choose the best telephone call you’ve ever had, which was it?

The one I got in 1998 where I found out I had been named State Champion (something nobody from my school had managed before or since, I might add) was pretty sweet.

If you could have the hair of someone you know, whose would you take?

Almost anyone’s. I hate my hair.

If you had to serve a life sentence in jail for one crime, what crime would you commit?

Certainly not murder. I don’t think I could ever be that angry at someone to do that. And not rape. I’m not physically strong enough to do that even if I wanted to. Let’s say kidnapping Abercrombie models and locking them up naked in my basement.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

Guess what I’m crossing off my Life List tomorrow!

This is week ninety-five in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you could have the sex life of any person from history, but remain yourself, who would you choose?

A porn star.

If you could have anyone’s eyes in the world, whose eyes would you want?

My friend Norm has gorgeous blue eyes. But I would want them in green.

If you could completely eliminate one of your pet peeves, what would you get rid of?

Stupid tourists.

If you could win any competition in the world, what would it be for?

A contest to win a dream job.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

This is week ninety-four in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you had to pick the worst sexual experience of your life, what would it be?

The one that was a crime. Literally.

If you could solve one unsolved crime, which one would you solve?

Always been a bit fascinated by the JFK assassination. So, that one.

If you were to be renamed after someone from history, whose name would you want?

I like my name.

If you could accomplish only one thing in the rest of your life, what would it be?

Creating some sort of artistic masterpiece. Not sure what medium it would be. Music, art, etc. But whichever medium it would be, it would be a revolution.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

I think I may have a new favorite thing to do in Orlando.

This is week ninety-three in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you had to choose the best song ever composed, which one would it be?

Ugh. I hate questions like this. My taste in music changes on a daily basis, which is evidenced by the fact that I will play my Top Rated Songs playlist and constantly be skipping past songs. I do love a little Reflections of Earth by Gavin Greenway though. Sure, the fireworks help, but the song itself is also quite gorgeous.

If you had to choose the worst song ever composed, which one would you pick?

Any gangsta rap, son.

If you had to change your race, what would you want to be?

Norwegian or Sweden. Those are some gorgeous people.

If you had to select the most beautiful face in history, whose face would you pick?

Well, aside from my own, I assume you mean?

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

From the classic American Broadway musical 42nd Street:

I’m grabbin my hat and coat. I’m leavin the cat a note. Quick, call me a ferry boat! Gettin out of town!

From me:

Ditto!

Bags are packed (mostly with cords and chargers, because in this day and age we can’t seem to go ten minutes without our beloved electronics) and in a few short hours I will be trekking out to the airport to catch the first flight of the day (tomorrow morning) down to Orlando.

Double duty on this trip. Sure, a trip to a Disney theme park is always reason enough for a vacation in my book, but since it’s January, it means it’s also time for another marathon. This Sunday I will once again be attempting those nasty 26.2 miles that I have so poorly trained for.

I sound like a broken record every January. Yeah, I know.

I’ll be gone a week, but if any pictures or events are absolutely mind-blowing, or I get a wild hair, I’ll share some stuff here while I’m gone. Best bet for following the fun is by following me on twitter. But then again, that’s always fun.

Water the plants while I’m gone.

This is week ninety-two in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you had to identify the worst hotel room you have ever stayed in, where was it?

I feel like in my past there was a hotel room that had bugs and was terrifying to sleep in because I was sure I would get eaten alive overnight. But for some reason, at this moment, I can’t place when and where it was. Apparently I blocked it out completely. Which is probably for the better. So I’m going to pick a hotel my mother and I stayed in during a trip to South Dakota once. It was a tiny, rundown place in the middle of nowhere. Very Bates Motel-ish. And the smoke detector went off right over my head in the middle of the night for no reason and it took about a half hour for someone to come and help shut it off. The oddest part of that story… I slept through that entire thing.

If you had to name the most important invention in history, what would win?

Aside from the Internet, because Lord knows I’m addicted to being constantly tethered to that information super highway at all times. I suppose the cliche answer is the wheel. And if I’m anything, I’m a cliche!

If you had to describe the best kiss you’ve ever had, how would you describe it?

I’m glad the question didn’t ask to specify which kiss it was. I would describe it as… remarkably unremarkable. There was nothing all that unique or special about it. But it was perfect in its simplicity.

If your house were to be haunted by the ghost of one person from history, who would you wish it to be?

Judy Garland. And she would sing me to sleep!

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

I’ve never been much of a cook, and recipes that call for more than three or four ingredients are very intimidating to me, so I tend to be one of those “heat and people” type of people. I am just far more comfortable with meals (I say meals even though I rarely, if ever, include side dishes) that require little more than boiling some water and/or heating things up.

That doesn’t really afford me a lot of options when it comes to preparing dinners or lunches for work. In turn, I tend to eat pretty much the same few things on a fairly regular schedule. Ask any of my coworkers, and they will give you the list of the three or four things I am always found eating for lunches. It never changes.

I bring this up, because last night I had a hankering to bake. I never get bake hankerings (bakerings?), so I wanted to take advantage of it before the feeling passed. Not really being comfortable with ingredient-heavy recipes or wanting to risk a new recipe that I could end up hating, I opted for my old standby. Chocolate chip cookie bars. While it has more ingredients than I am generally comfortable with, they are all pretty basic ones, and I’ve made it before with great success, so it’s a keeper.

I didn’t have any chocolate on me, so I had to run to the grocery store to get some, and that’s where I ran into a hurdle. Normally, it’s not easy to find vegan chocolate chips in just any general grocery store. But I’ve always been lucky in that mine did have some every time I had needed them. This time, however, no suck luck.

The only vegan chocolate option I was able to find was some unsweetened baking chocolate squares. It wasn’t what I wanted, but since I had no other options, and I was going to be baking with it, I figured baking chocolate would still suffice. I would just have to find a way to turn the squares into smaller chip sized morsels.

I got home, and immediately went into my toolbox (yes, I own a toolbox. And it actually has some tools in it), grabbed a hammer, and immediately started banging away on the box of unsweetened baking chocolate.

It did nothing.

I ultimately had to take out a knife and slice and chisel off little chunks until I had managed to get enough to make the bars worthy of the chocolate chip name. This amount also just happened to coincide with the point where I got so frustrated with the process that I couldn’t take it anymore.

I popped them in the oven and was very pleased with myself. I was already imagining showing up to work today with cookie bars knowing Lauren loves my cookie bars. She would be so excited and thankful. I would be the hero of the day.

Smugly, I sat down to watch tv while they baked and snack on some leftover chocolate squares.

That’s when a sense of dread set in.

The chocolate was absolutely disgusting.

They meant it when they said unsweetened. It was nasty. I assured myself that the bars would be fine. There was a good amount of sugar in them to make up for the lack of sweetness in the chocolate and everything would still be ok.

I was wrong.

After letting them cool, I took a bite of one only to find that it was as wretched as the chocolate itself had been.

This was a disaster.

I couldn’t bring these pieces of crap to work to share with people. I’d be run out of town with pitchforks.

I’m just so confused as to why they make unsweetened baking chocolate if baking with it makes your food taste like shit. The surgeon general needs to put a warning on that stuff. May cause death and loss of friends.

You live, you learn, my little Morissettes.

I’ve got one hand in my pocket and the other one is throwing away an entire batch of cookie bars.