n i c k y n a x . c o m

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This is week eighty-seven in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you were to be any famous person’s personal masseuse, whose would you like to be?

We will make this one a timely answer and pick Taylor Lautner.

If you could give anonymous advice to any one person about their appearance, who would it be, and what would you say?

Well, this would take away any and all anonymity, and I’m hardly superior enough when it comes to appearances to start handing out advice to others, but I would tell anyone and everyone wearing Crocs that they are making a horrible mistake.

If you could be on the cover of any magazine next month, which magazine would you want it to be, and what would the caption say?

It would be something along the lines of Entertainment Weekly, and the caption would be something along the lines of “Who the heck IS this guy? And why can’t we get enough of him?!”

If you had to pick the worst meal you’ve ever eaten, what would it be?

There was a dish my mother made as a child that was called Mrs Carson’s Casserole. It was probably the worst memory of a meal I have ever had and will ever have. I don’t even remember what was in it aside from macaroni and spam.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

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From my (cruelty-free) table to yours, I wish you all a happy and healthy Thanksgiving and holiday season.

I hope that this will be the last year that some of you celebrate with a dead turkey, but regardless of how you choose to celebrate today, I wish you love and happiness.

Today, I will be eating (and eating and eating) a Tofurky Roast, stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, apple cranberry dumplings, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

Yummy YUM!

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I got my first package of Christmas gifts from Mom in the mail today.

It’s not even Black Friday yet and she’s not only done some shopping, but even shipped it to me already.

She’s on top it!

(that’s what she said?)

Perhaps this is where I get my habit of planning things ridiculously far in advance. Ya think?

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This is week eighty-six in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you had to confess to one crime you have already committed, what would you confess to?

I haven’t really committed any crimes that are very exciting or scandalous. So, perhaps the most salacious thing I have to confess to would be bootlegging Broadway shows for a stretch of time when I first moved to the city. I grew out of that phase quickly though when I realized I had way too many bootlegs that I never really had any intention of ever listening to.

If you could choose, from what you own right now, what clothes to buried in when you die, what would you wear?

I only have one suit, so it makes the choice pretty easy. I could pick some t-shirt and jeans combo, as that would be more representative of me, but I feel like my funeral warrants dressing up a bit.

If you had to describe the worst job interview in your life, what job would it have been for?

I don’t think I’ve had any horrible job interviews. Not that all were amazing and resulted in a job, but none were real nightmares. I guess one that could qualify would be for Urban Outfitters when I was about 23. I rocked the interview portion, and was told that all I had to do take a quick ethics test sort of thing and as long as I did ok on that, the job was mine. I never got offered the job. Whoops.

If you could have hit any homerun in baseball history, which one would you choose?

Who cares?

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

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This is week eighty-five in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you had to have been any dictator or tyrant in history, which one would you have chosen to have been?

Hitler. And I wouldn’t have been a dick. There would have been no Holocaust.

If you could add one sentence to the U.S. Constitution, what would it say?

Can I get a what what???

If you could bomb one building in the world without hurting any people, which would you blow up?

A factory farm. And the bombing would have to not hurt any animals either.

If you could be the author of any one quotation from history, what words would you like to have uttered?

You don’t stop playing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop playing.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

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This is week eighty-four in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

This week’s questions:

If you had to murder someone, how would you do it?

Cleverly make someone think they want to murder them instead and let them do it.

If you had commit suicide by jumping from a tall height, where would you do it?

Oh God. All I can think of when I hear about things like this is the people who jumped from the WTC. Out of all the horrific images that came out of that event, the people jumping are the images that most deeply affected me and literally made me physically ill. The idea of jumping to my death is terrifying. But if you’re going to do it, might as well do it big. So, from a plane and I would “forget” to open the parachute. And pray it didn’t automatically open when it hit that altitude where it it supposed to do that.

If you could choose the very last thing you will see before death, what would it be?

Wow. What’s with all the morbid questions today? The face of a loved one. Reassuring me that things will be ok.

If you had to trade houses with someone you know, who would it be?

I live in NYC and everyone I know who has a place I’ve been to lives in an apartment. The only friend I have who lives in a house that I’ve personally seen is Rodney or Michael. And Rodney lives in New Jersey, so he loses automatically. I will take Michael’s house.

Those are my answers to this week’s questions. What are yours?

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Much like a robin signaling the return of spring, the holiday season also sends us a “Hey, Bitches! I’m here!”

That yuletide welcome comes via the most delicious beverage ever known to mankind.

Tonight, I had my first sighting of the year. And it was joyous.

Hello there, Silk Nog. It’s nice to see you again. Let’s make love.

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This past weekend, Lauren and I found ourselves with some time to kill in Times Square. And with a plethora of tourist traps from which to choose, we settled on the most Halloweeny we could and decided to immerse ourselves in the world of the odd and bizarre by visiting Ripley’s Believe It or Not!

What follows are a few pictures of our adventure…

This little photo op accompanied an exhibit about a man who had no body from the waist down. I think we were supposed to emulate that, but being the overachievers that we are, we decided to go even further and become only heads (and a bit of shoulder in Lauren’s case).

Next Lauren fell in love with this chap (lady?) and sat down for some quality couch time with her new wifey and pet Moose head.

Up next I got attacked by a dinosaur. Oh, gracious.

From there we found ourselves in the medieval torture section of the odd-itorium and I was immediately thown into a box and Lauren was decapitated (again!) and her head was preserved for later scientific study.

We escaped from there and were immediately captured again and thrown into much stronger devices that locked down over our faces. It was as if we had been cast to play victims in the latest installment of Saw, only far more real and far more macabre.

Jigsaw finally let us go and we escaped through a giant spinning black hole…

…only to be thrust out into the crowds of Times Square filled with obnoxious tourists. Perhaps we were better off inside.

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