If… (Week 3)

This is week three in my personal “If… Project” in which I answer questions from the book “If… (Questions for the Game of Life)”

There are 125 pages of this book, each with four questions. I plan to take one page each week and answer the questions as thoroughly and honestly as I am able. In addition, I invite you to answer the questions along with me, whether it be in the comments section, your own personal blog, or just within your own thoughts.

Perhaps in doing so, we will get to know each other better, but even more importantly, get to know ourselves better.

I’ve discovered that another benefit to doing this weekly is that during times where there isn’t that much exciting and noteworthy going on to blog about, at least this gives me a guaranteed entry once a week.

I’m of the mindset that I don’t want to post blog entries just for the sake of posting blog entries. I want it to be because there’s something I actually feel like saying and sharing. Not to fill a quota of entries per week/month/whatever.

I realize though, that as readers of a blog, you want quantity in addition to quality. So, hopefully these If… entries will be the best of both worlds for all of us. It will give us at least one entry per week during those slow times when there isn’t much else to talk about, but will hopefully also result in being of a quality that I actually feel a little bit of pride in publishing.

So, without further ado… this week’s questions are:

If you could alter one physical characteristics of your mate, what would you change?

First of all, I don’t really feel qualified to be making physical changes to other people when there is still so many things about my own physical appearance that I’m not happy with. I mean, I’m currently paying thousands of dollars just to fix my teeth. And if I had the money, there are other things I’d like to fix too. Nothing radical and extreme, mind you, but small improvements that could be made here and there. That being said, and keeping with the idea that I HAVE to pick something to answer the question, I would have to pick his height. I have no qualms about his height, as is, but I’ve kinda always had a thing for shorter guys. So, I guess if I had to pick something, I would make him about 5’6″ to 5’8″ instead of his current height. But just for the record, I’m happy with him just the way he is.

If you could dine alone with anyone from any period in history, which person would it be?

Ok, so far a good portion of these questions are starting to sound very similar to each other, and thus could end up getting pretty boring pretty quickly. I haven’t read ahead so as to keep my answers as fresh and spontaneous as possible, so I can’t yet say if these sorts of questions last throughout the duration of the book, but I’m hoping they don’t. It’s just really hard to keep coming up with new people. I’ve already had three or four questions about wanting to meet and spend time with people from history and I chose them then for a reason. I still choose them now. So, I guess if I had to choose one yet again, it’d be Walt Disney.

If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?

I’m guessing that most people that know me might think I would change my parent’s divorce from happening. But when I really stop to think about it, that’s quite possibly one of the last things I’d change. Sure, having your parents divorce at the age of one isn’t awesome. Having a single mother raise three kids on a single income isn’t ideal. Having one of your parents virtually forget that you even exist isn’t something that one desires growing up, especially when he’s one of those deadbeat dad’s who refuse to pay child support. While growing up, I constantly felt like I was missing out on something and that I wasn’t a complete person because of it.

I remember one of the first times I ate dinner at a friend’s house. I ended up eating very little food because I found myself just sitting there watching her family interact with each other over the dinner table. It was such a foreign experience to me, and one that I wish I personally had growing up.

But now that I’m older and know a little bit more about life, I don’t think I would go back and change it. I am the person I am today because of that. If my father had stayed, who knows how my upbringing would have been different. Maybe he would have been incredibly strict and possibly violent. Maybe my parents would have fought a lot and I would have had to witness that emotional and possibly physically abuse. There’s just no way of knowing what would have happened and how it would have changed who I grew up to be. It’s entirely possibly that it would have been an even better upbringing for me and I would be and even better and stronger person today, but that’s not something I’d be willing to risk if ever given a real opportunity to go back in time and change that.

I’m very thankful, now, that I had that aspect of my childhood and was able to witness the strength and tenacity that my mother displayed in raising all three children into fully functioning and thriving adults all by herself. It’s an example that I’ve learned a lot from without even realizing how big of a life lesson it was.

Wow, four paragraphs and I haven’t actually answered the question yet. Obviously this question struck a chord and resonated on some level.

I guess if I wanted to change something, I might choose that I was born and grew up in a larger town. Perhaps a suburb of a large city. This is not to say that I regret growing up in small town Iowa, because I don’t. There were aspects of that which are and were very wonderful to experience. I’m just thinking that perhaps there might have been more opportunities at hand had I lived closer to someplace like New York or Los Angeles. Also, living in such a place would have afforded me the ability to grow up in a place that is much more accepting of the gay lifestyle than my hometown was, and I think it would have been a huge help in my coming to the point of personal acceptance and helped to ease a lot of shame and fear I had growing up.

If you could have any room in the world become your bedroom from now on, which room would you choose?

Gut instinct is to say the suite in Cinderella Castle at the Magic Kingdom, but that’s not because of the room itself. Mostly just because of the location of the room. I actually think the decor of the room would drive me crazy after a short period of time. Too fantasy gothic and extravagant for my tastes. But I can remember even as a child wanting to be able to live in the castle, so if I was given a choice, that’s what I would pick. But I’d get a new interior decorator in there immediately.

Those are my answers for this week’s questions. What are yours?