I can’t believe I’ve forgotten to talk about this for two weeks now. I kept intending to write about it, but every time I sat down to write something, another topic popped into my head. But I’ve nothing else blog-worthy to talk about at the moment, so the time has come to share this exciting news.
On November 6, elections were held in my hometown for Mayor. And one of the candidates for that position just happened to be my very own mother. And as if the results of that election weren’t obvious considering the fact that I’m devoting an entire blog to the topic, my mother did, in fact, win the election and will be Mayor of hometown.
What the hell?!
I never knew she had any interest in that sort of thing at all. She never showed any signs of it before. Once she retired about two years ago, she had all these free time on her hands and ended up joining the city council last fall. I guess she got bit by the bug then. But seriously…How on earth did my mother end up as Mayor?!
Not that I’m complaining. Far from it. I think it’s outrageously awesome. And what’s better is that her Mayoral status pretty much makes me the First Son of that town, which I’m sure comes with a myriad of benefits.
For example, I bet I will now get a statue of myself erected on the courthouse lawn in the middle of the town square.
I bet, as First Son, I will get the street of my choosing renamed in my honor.
As the First Son, I bet I get a extra pickle when I eat at local restaurants.
Yeah, I get nothin.
But it’s nice to dream, right?
I’m gonna use my connections with the new Mayor to make all sorts of things happen in that town. First up, gay marriage. It’ll be the gay marriage capital of the Midwest. I can see the looks of horror on the residents’ faces already.
The possibilities are endless.